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About Deviant Some Expendable Onyx GuardMale/Canada Groups :iconthe-ultimate-meme: The-ultimate-meme
 
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I don't talk to my best friends every single day. You don't have to either. Stop guilt tripping your friends. Folks have busy lives.
  • Reading: College books
  • Watching: Gotham
  • Playing: Gears Of War 4
  • Eating: Food
  • Drinking: Beer
Don't get me wrong what happened was very tragic, but it's good to find humour in even the darkest times.

I can't stop laughing :la:

I'm going to hell by onyxcarmine
The nicer you are, the easier you're hurt. So just be a cunt 
Or what? You'll release the dogs, or the bees, or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you? Well go ahead, do your worst!

#simpsonsquotes
  • Reading: College books
  • Watching: Gotham
  • Playing: Gears Of War 4
  • Eating: Food
  • Drinking: Beer
Don't get me wrong what happened was very tragic, but it's good to find humour in even the darkest times.

I can't stop laughing :la:

I'm going to hell by onyxcarmine

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onyxcarmine's Profile Picture
onyxcarmine
Some Expendable Onyx Guard
Canada
Hello there, I'm some expendable Onyx Guard, pleasure to meet you. I'm a nice guy half the time and I'm an asshole for the other half. I enjoy making people laugh. If you browse my gallery, you'll find lots of pictures that I hope will make you laugh

I try to avoid getting into arguments with people because arguing on the internet is kind of pointless. If I did something to rustle your jimmies oh well :P

I despise little kids very much. They're fucking parasites :la:

I currently work part time at a pharmacy and am going to college as well.

I love parties, festivals, concerts, friends and my family. I love alcohol quite a lot. You can never ever have too much alcohol. LETS GET FUCKED UP! :icondrunk-plz:

I am also a REALLY terrible drawer , but I will still post my drawings regardless of how they look and I also post memes. I actually mostly post memes, but once I draw something, I'll post it. Aw you don't like it? Let me play you a sad song on the worlds smallest violin :bucktooth:

Slow interwebz by prosaix Pageviews by prosaix Always hungry... by prosaix I cannot draw by prosaix Mental Wi-Fi by prosaix FNaF by TheArtOfNotLikingYou Dislike Little Kids Stamp by SGStamps Online ads by prosaix Motley Crue Stamp by Kezzi-Rose I Love Beer Stamp by AndroniX Shitty Excuse by FlacidPenis Children should be seen and not worshipped. by Little-rolling-bean Sleep is Overrated Stamp by Mirz123 Real Friends Stamp by Mirz123 I laugh at white knights by prosaix I laugh at homophobes by prosaix I talk to myself... by prosaix I laugh at religious freaks by prosaix Universe Stamp by Kezzi-Rose Nightowl Stamp by Kezzi-Rose 'Explaining' Stamp by Sonira-Stamps Sarcasm Stamp I by darkdisciple-stamps Rock Music Stamp by Davidgtza2 Deadpool Stamp by aniphx Deadpool Stamp by Sinister666beauty STAMP - I support Deadpool by Emme-Gray Gay by Super-Cheesepuff Paranoid Notes Stamp by SparkLum I don't know you enough. by PrincessFlaw Extraterrestrial Life Stamp by Kezzi-Rose Halo Addict Stamp by dehydromon Not so Good Ol' Days by LadyRedDarkness Dear Stalker Stamp by artisticallylearning It's just a fucking horror game. by wingedoracle DANCE THE DANCE OF LIFE STAMP by TanaTiels
A thing about my view on other things :meow:

The Agnostic Stamp by JRCnrd Evolution Stamp by Kezzi-Rose For Those in the Community or Those Supporting by endler LGBT+ Stamp by Kezzi-Rose Pro-Choice stamp by FearlessLullaby Pro Choice by MoronicGlassKiller Liberal Stamp by Mintaka-TK Wtf? by Little-rolling-bean Fetuses cannot be great people like women can. by Little-rolling-bean If you don't like that, well...fuck you. by Catthylove

Mature Content

Screw ISIS! by Xekowarrior123


Click for a massive eargasm! :la: www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAYPkV…


Below is a wonderful song.

It's nine o'clock on a Saturday
The regular crowd shuffles in
There's an old man sitting next to me
Making love to his tonic and gin

He says, "Son can you play me a memory
I'm not really sure how it goes
But it's sad and it's sweet
And I knew it complete
When I wore a younger man's clothes"

Sing us a song you're the piano man
Sing us a song tonight
Well we're all in the mood for a melody
And you've got us feeling alright

Now John at the bar is a friend of mine
He gets me my drinks for free
And he's quick with a joke or to light up your smoke
But there's someplace that he'd rather be

He says, "Bill, I believe this is killing me"
As a smile ran away from his face
"Well, I'm sure that I could be a movie star
If I could get out of this place"

Now Paul is a real estate novelist
Who never had time for a wife
And he's talking with Davy, who's still in the Navy
And probably will be for life

And the waitress is practicing politics
As the businessmen slowly get stoned
Yes they're sharing a drink they call loneliness
But it's better than drinking alone

Sing us a song you're the piano man
Sing us a song tonight
Well we're all in the mood for a melody
And you've got us feeling alright

It's a pretty good crowd for a Saturday
And the manager gives me a smile
'Cause he knows that it's me they've been coming to see
To forget about life for a while

And the piano sounds like a carnival
And the microphone smells like a beer
And they sit at the bar and put bread in my jar
And say "Man what are you doing here?"

Sing us a song you're the piano man
Sing us a song tonight
Well we're all in the mood for a melody
And you've got us feeling alright

Song by Billy Joel. Piano Man.

Let's see what Obama thinks of the song.

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What would Brian Boitano do
If he was here right now?
He'd make a plan, and he'd follow through,
That's what Brian Boitano'd do!

When Brian Boitano was in the Olympics
Skating for the gold,
He two Salchows and a triple Lutz
Wearing a blindfold

When Brian Boitano was in the Alps
Fighting grizzly bears,
He used his magical fire breath
And saved the maidens fair

So what would Brian Boitano do
If he was here today?
I'm sure he'd kick an arse or two,
That's what Brian Boitano'd do!

When Brian Boitano travelled through time
To the year 3010,
He fought the evil robot king
And saved us all again

And when Brian Boitano built the pyramids,
He beat up Kubla Khan,
'Cause Brian Boitano doesn't take shit from anybody!

No, Brian! Those chicken wings are really spicy! Don't eat those!

I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings!
I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings!
I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings!
I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings!
I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings!
I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings!
I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings!

Brian Boitano was born
On the planet of Kryluck
He came to earth to save us all
From war and death and such!

Hi de lo de hi de lay!
Brian Boitano's here!
So round up all your lasses,
And tell them to have no fear!

Say, come over here my honey,
And you're gonna take off my pants,
And I'm gonna make dirty love to you,
'Cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do!
'Cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do!

(_ _)
  \\ Λ_Λ
   \( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  Put
    > ⌒ヽ
   /   へ\ This
   /  / \\
   レ ノ   ヽ_つ on
  / /
  / /| Your
 ( (ヽ
 | |、\ Page
 | 丿 \ ⌒)
 | |  ) / If you're
`ノ )  Lノ
(_/ LENNY

(•_•)
<) )╯ do a little dance
/ \

\ (•_•)
( (> make a little love
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> get down tonight
/ \

Some sayings I live by.

I hate the word homophobia. It's not a phobia. You are not scared. You are an asshole.

You were born an original, don't die a copy.

Don't ever mistake my silence for ignorance, my calmness for acceptance, or my kindness for weakness.

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.

Sometimes you just need to relax and say.... ...fuck it!

If you don't do wild things while you're young, you'll have nothing to smile about when you're old.

I hate when people say that you don't need alcohol to have fun. Well, you don't need running shoes to run, but it fucking helps.

If "Plan A" didn't work, the alphabet has 25 more letters. Stay cool

My mouth is not a bakery, I don't sugarcoat anything. If you for ask my opinion, I'm going to tell you the truth, not what you want to hear. Deal with it.

I know people who graduated college at 21, and didn't get a salary job until they were 27. I know people who graduated at 25 and already had a salary job. I know people who have children and are single. I know people who are married and had to wait 8-10 years to be parents. I know people who are in a relationship and love someone else. I know people who love each other and aren't together. There are people waiting to love and be loved. My point is, everything in life happens according to our time, our clock. You may look at your friends and some may seem to be ahead or behind you, but they're not. They're living according to the pace of their clock, so be patient. You're not falling behind, it's just not your time.
Interests

Friends

:iconsilverkazeninja: :iconganassa: :iconzuqling: :iconmagzikoopa: :iconcrankypepper: :iconshowa-sylvie: :iconkiraiqueen: :iconunversedlupine: :iconbluethealpha: :iconjocy-chick: :iconthefunnyamerican:

Comments


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:iconthefunnyamerican:
TheFunnyAmerican Featured By Owner 6 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
Hello darkness my old friend 
Reply
:icony2jinstien:
Y2Jinstien Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2017  Hobbyist Writer
I love your anti Donald Trump memes. That Cheeto Twat waffle is a disgrace to the office.
Reply
:icononyxcarmine:
onyxcarmine Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2017
A majority of them are just immature. I don't care about american politics anymore lol
Reply
:iconchubbybimbo:
ChubbyBimbo Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2017  New Deviant Hobbyist Artist
Your memes are perfection
Reply
:icononyxcarmine:
onyxcarmine Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2017
Thanks
Reply
:iconspringtrapthebest:
SpringTrapthebest Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2017  Professional Artist
"Practise, one day you will be the greatest, Practise, one day you will master art, practise, and you will be remembered, forever, in the deepest areas of our hearts, as one of the best artists, and a great person." - Springtrapthebest

P.S: One of my statuses.
Reply
:icononyxcarmine:
onyxcarmine Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2017
Okay?
Reply
Flagged as Spam
:icononyxcarmine:
onyxcarmine Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2017
Can I help you or are you just trying to start shit? =D
Reply
:icondarrenal65:
Darrenal65 Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2017  Hobbyist Artist
lol, your posts bring a smile to my face dude.
you deserve a watch from one of the most cringiest ppl on this website who has no life whatsoever! :D
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